Aaaand we come up to another house disaster Monday, sigh. Happy Baby has been sick for over a week now, throwing up, slight fever, runny/plugged nose, goopy eye, etc. Something I never realized was how little sleep Mommy gets when baby is sick! I’ve also been dealing with my wife’s pregnancy hormones... let me just say AHHHH!!! I remember being a raving bitch with both my pregnancy from hormones but I feel like I always apologized after I was like that... Wifey doesn’t.
So today I took Happy Baby to the walk in clinic, and after snapping at my dad for trying to take over, I found out from the doctor that it is just a virus and it will run its course. Big sigh of relief there! But that doenst help Mommy get more sleep lol. Happy Baby has also been refusing solid food and refuses the breast half of the time. So not only am I tired, my boobs are sore and engorged! I hesitate to pump in case she suddenly gets hungry, but I need too, I pumped almost seven ounces out of one side in one sitting today, ouch! Ugh, Happy Baby just rubbed snot all over the couch... I cannot wait for her to get better!
I also spent Saturday away from her, something I do not do very often! I went to get my first aid course so I can go back to work in the next couple of months. I’m so upset about going back to work, I can’t imagine leaving Happy Baby every day. I have to though, Wifey needs to go on mat leave as she is in her third trimester and construction is probably not a good idea anymore. Wifey doesn’t like me being upset about going back to work, she says she feels like it is her fault, that she should provide more, or that she shouldn’t have gotten pregnant. That is so NOT why I’m upset! I actually kind of want to go back to work, but I don’t want to leave my baby. I trust Wifey raising our kids, I just don’t want to miss it I guess. I have explained it to her, but as I mentioned, the hormones.
Wifey has been having a hard time with a couple of things lately. She doesn’t realize that she has not eaten and gets really cranky, but won’t eat when I offer. She gets mad at me for random things out of the blue and makes me feel like it is my fault, not her hormones. I remember when I was pregnant, I’d have a meltdown, then an hour later apologize for being a freak. I don’t necessarily want an apology, but some acknowledgement I’m not crazy.
Something else I noticed was how she talks like we are never going to get Lil Bub. I remember her doing this when I was pregnant with Happy Baby. She doesn’t want to buy anything for the upcoming baby, or even talk like we are going to be able to keep said baby. I think she does this because of when we lost our Angel Boy, it is her way of dealing and preparing for the possibility that we would have to lose another child. It bothers me the way she talks but I don’t know what to say or how to help her. Especially when I have my own issues that way. I however expect Lil Bub to come and can’t wait to meet him. I try really hard not to think of the bad things that can happen, because if they happen, we can deal with it then.
Finally, because Monday’s tend to suck in general, I think I’m going to start what I’m going to call “Manic Monday”. I am going to attempt to get us all happy (manic) by posting a funny picture I like from the internet every Monday. So here is the first one:
Hope the rest of your week gets better and by the time I talk to you again Happy Baby is healthy!