Two years...

Two years ago tonight I went to sleep with a very active little boy kicking me and when I woke up the next day he wasn’t.  That night I had a c-section and we got to hold him, but it wasn’t him, I knew that.  Then it started to snow.  A huge snow storm.  Last year it snowed around this time too.  I wish it was snowing now, it is my sign that he is near and I wish I could see it.  Tomorrow we will go up to his grave, probably in the rain.

Strangely I’m scared that tomorrow is going to be too ‘normal’.  We are planning on maybe going to the local children’s consignment store and seeing the next installment of twilight.  I feel weird about it being normal.  I want to remember him.  I want to thank him for giving us his little sister and soon a brother.  I want to somehow let him know he was important and we love him.